Definition of "A pattern of coercive behavior used by one person to control to control and subordinate another in an intimate relationship. These behaviors include physical, sexual, psychological, and economic abuse. Tactics of coercion, terrorism, degradation, exploitation, and violence are used to engender fear in the victim in order to enforce compliance." Domestic Violence Oregon Domestic Violence Council Examples of Abusive Behavior Physical abuse: hitting, kicking, slapping, punching, throwing things at a person, pinching, pulling hair, poking, choking, or shaking a person. This also includes physically controlling behaviors including grabbing a person, restraining a person, blocking them and moving them against their will. Verbal abuse: Calling names, put-downs, yelling, screaming, tearing a person apart with words, threatening and swearing at them. Psychological abuse: Non-verbal abuse which leaves the person feeling afraid or intimidated. This includes intense looks, stares, gestures such as shaking a fist, the silent treatment or getting in a person's face. Property abuse: Throwing things, kicking things, hitting things, punching walls, slamming doors, banging on things. The item does not need to be damaged to be considered property abuse, simply handled in an inappropriate manner. Animal abuse: Any mistreatment of animals that is not considered appropriate discipline or conforms to standard hunting practices. This would include withholding of food or water, kicking or hurting in any way, an animal. Sexual abuse: Any unwanted sexual contact or harassment, unwanted looks or comments, and pressuring a sexual partner into being sexual when they don't want to be. This can include: badgering for sex, making the partner suffer for saying "no," (whining, pouting, complaining) using guilt and other control tactics to get sex, physically forcing sex, using sex to get what the aggressor wants, forcing and/or using alcohol or drugs to get sex, willfully withholding sex, forcing undesired sexual activities, having sex with others to hurt victim, using power to get sex, using prostitutes. The difference between "coercion" and "seduction" is that seduction requires non-coerced informed concent to sexual activity in a positive relationship. Sexual abuse is about power over the victim, with sex as the activity. If these abusive behaviors are used often, to manipulate, control, or denegrate the victim, there is a pattern of abuse. If these behaviors are an occasional circumstance, there is the potential of communication about how the behavior is demeaning; with positive communication and interest in healing the relationship, the behaviors can be changed. When there is a pattern of abuse, the primary concern is for the physical safety of the victim. People who abuse need serious help, which takes a lot of time and the strong desire to change. The victim needs safety and support, to begin the healing process and to develop a personal sense of value. The information on this page is from: Allies in Change Counseling Center 1815 SW Marlow Rd., Suite 208 Portland, Oregon 97225 (503) 297-7979 (503) 297-7980 fax allies@alliesinchange.org |
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to order a copy, Flame of Healing is also available at bookstores nationwide ISBN # 1598867709 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two Styles of Power in Personal Relationships (red - negative, abusive power) (blue - positive, healthy power) 1. One person has power over the other. 1. Each has personal power.
2. Mutual respect is practiced.
3. Each person is a winner. 4. Only one person's needs are met. 4. Each person's needs are met.
5. Blame and shame are used to avoid responsibility. 5. Each person has accountability and responsibility. 6. Relationships are competitive and/or dominating. 6. Relationships are cooperative and supportive. This comparison is based ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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The 2007 International Survey for Adult Survivors of Extreme Abuse Presented by Carol Rutz at The Tenth Annual Ritual Abuse, Secretive Organizations and Mind Control Conference August 11, 2007, Windsor Locks, Connecticut Anonymous Online Survey 1,471 total respondents
(Online: Jan.1, 2007 - March 31, 2007)
Armenia 3, Australia 38, Austria 8, Belgum 1, Bulgaria 1, Canada 75, China 1, Columbia 2, Czech Rep. 1, England 92, France 2, Germany 273, Greece 5, Hong Kong 1, India 3, Ireland 1, Israel 11, Italy 1, Kyrgyzstan 1, Mexico 1, Netherlands 8, New Zealand 6, Norway 10, Romania 1, Saudi Arabia 1, South Africa 6, Spain 2, Switzerland 13, United States of America 774. 124 people did not give country of residence
Female - 81 % Male - 18 %
18-21 years old 7 % 36-50 years old 40 % 66+ years old 2.5 % 22-35 years old 23 % 51-65 years old 27.5 %
Less than college 12 % College degree 29 % Some college 32 % Graduate degree 27 % * 77 % of 1,159 respondents were threatened with death if they even talked about the abuse. * 46 % of 1,095 respondents were forced to be participants in murder by perpetrators. * 50 % of 1,111 respondents were forced to murder (or think they had murdered) a baby. * 53 % of 1,110 respondents were forced to participate in animal mulitlation killings. * 79 % of 1,125 respondents were sexually abused by multiple perpetrators. * 53 % of 1,121 respondents were caged. * 48 % of 1,098 respondents experienced starvation. * 44 % of 1,109 respondents experienced forced cannibalism. * 52 % of 1,122 respondents were forced to experience bestiality (sex with animals). * 45 % of 1,118 respondents were buried alive. * 50 % of 1,119 respondents experienced electroshock. * 61 % of 1,099 respondents experienced sensory deprivation. * 69 % of 1,118 respondents experienced sleep deprivation. * 70 % of 1,122 respondents experienced incest (sex with family members). * 52 % of 1,106 respondents were forced into child pornography (sexual pictures and/or videos). * 46 % of 1,094 respondents were forced into child prostitution (sex for money). * 55 % of 986 respondents report being ritually abused in a Satanic cult. (of those, 67 % went through the "Marriage to Satan") * 14 % of 969 respondents report being ritually abused in a Gnostic cult. * 23 % of 971 respondents report being ritually abused in a Witchcraft cult. * 7 % of 966 respondents report being ritually abused in Voodooism. * 48 % of 977 respondents report having memories of their abuse before seeking therapy or counseling. * 53 % of 996 respondents report that perpetrators had on at least one occasion made them believe that external entities/spirits/demons had taken over their body. * 40 % of 957 respondents report having at least one demon alter (Disassociative Identity Disorder).
Deliverance 57 % Spiritual Guidance/Counseling 71 % Exorcism 36 % Theophostic Prayer 56 % Personal Prayer/Meditation 83 % Top Healing Techniques - (Each garnered over 50 % in the great and much help catagory of those responding to healing methods.) * 75 % Individual Psychotherapy/Counseling * 56 % Drawing/Painting * 66 % Supportive Friends * 55 % Abreactive Work (healing of memories) * 64 % Creative Writing * 53 % Grounding Techniques * 62 % Personal Prayer/Meditation * 53 % Self-Care/Self-Soothing Techniques * 61 % Journaling * 51 % Spiritual Guidance/Counseling * 60 % Other Methods * 51 % Formal Deprogramming * 57 % Art Therapy Continuing Problems Reported - * Dissociative flashbacks with Satanic themes 68 % of 1,085 respondents. * Eating Disorders 70 % of 1,105 respondents. * Post-tramatic Stress Disorder 89 % of 1,114 respondents. * Self-mutilating behavior 65 % pf 1,095 respondents. * Sleep Problems 90 % of 1,118 respondents. * Substance Abuse 48 % of 1,084 respondents. * Survivor Guilt 73 % of 1,102 respondents.
* 0 years 20 % * 10-19 years 22 % * Less than a year 9 % * 20-29 years 5% * 1-4 years 21 % * 30+ years 1 % * 5-9 years 21 %
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